Middle Finger Birthday Parties!!
Free Promotion!!
Wanted!!
HOST LOCATIONS !!
Motels!!
As with The Mardi Gras Sports Bar and its
accommodations right next door,
we encourage motels and hotels located near
our party sites, to contact us for an advertisement. Our
experience has proven that exposure on
middlefingerparty.com will drive business to your door.
This is a very targeted readership comprised of
responsible adults. Everyone knows how dangerous it
is to drive after drinking and the horrendous
ramifications of DUI's. If your
motel or hotel facility is located near one of our sites,
we will happily post an advertisement for you similar
to the one we did for Howard Johnson's.
Introductory Offer **
If your motel is located within walking distance of
one of the establishments listed here, or it is along
the route of one of our motorcycle adventures, we
will offer you a free listing for SIX months, to try out
the service. If you like the service and wish to
continue:
The fee is $10.00 per month,
paid in advance for one year and a $100 set up fee,
paid once. You'll get your money back the first
month in the form of increased business.
Contact bob@middlefingerparty.com
If you are willing to host a Middle Finger Birthday Party
at your establishment, this is what we will do for you.
The use of the middle finger salute after the Battle of
Agincourt (Age-in-court) is a controversial historical anecdote.
Some say it happened just as it's described here while others
quibble about numbers and veracity. The British say it really
happened and they, after-all, were actually there.
If you agree to host a party celebrating the victory at
Agincourt and the origin of the Middle Finger Salute, as an
in-your-face, non-vulgar expression of effrontery, we will
offer you a full page advertisement on this web site -
FREE.
(to view a sample of our free listings)
That advertisement will include your menu, if you have one
and your events calendar. We limit this offer to two
establishments in each state or nation with the exception
of those we personally invite to participate.
After we already have two establishments hosting the party
in your state, we will charge new listings $10.00 per month,
paid in advance for a year plus a one time $100 setup fee.
The setup fee includes web design, writing and massaging
your photography. If your location is farther than 500 miles
from St. Augustine Florida, we will ask you to provide six
digital photographs attractively illustrating your establishment's
best qualities. If we have a trip planned that will bring us close
to you, we will come to you and get our own photographs.
In addition to the FREE promotion on this web site, we will
provide you with one middle-finger-party T-Shirt you can use
to sell t-shirts. You can buy the t-shirts from middlefingerparty.com for $8.00 ($9.00 for double extra large). This price is favorable to what we are offering on the web site
at $12.95 plus $5.00 shipping ($17.95). You can
substantially undersell us and make a sweet profit. There is
a minimum order for T-shirts of two dozen per design.
For t-shirts with YOUR logo on the back, just ask
(and PROVIDE US WITH YOUR LOGO).
We also make our middlefingerparty.com Greetings Cards
available to you at a substantially discounted price of $12.00
per packaged dozen (minimum order of three dozen). You
can sell them for up to $4.95 each ($59.40), or as we retail
them at $18.00 per dozen cards. Sell them for more if you
wish. YOU decide what YOU want to sell them for, then
do it.
Logistics problems. We prefer to get our own photography.
If you can line up ten paid customers for us within a hundred
miles of your location, we will come to you, personally, and
get our own photography. We will also give you $25.00
each for the sites you sold for us.
So. If you are in Oklahoma City (for example) and you sell
ten sites for us, we will give you a free listing, a T-shirt and
$250 (after we are paid by all ten sites). You can't beat that
with a stick!
To get listed on this web site FREE, simply invite us to come.
We will need an address (directions if the address is an RFD),
and a phone number we can use to make sure you'll be open
when we get there.
We expect Middle Finger Birthday Parties to be world
wide by the time Agincourt's 600th anniversary gets here
in 2015.
If we don't have two listings in your state, yet, hurry. Contact
us now and make your reservation. Contact
bob@middlefingerparty.com
We have no preference for the theme of your establishment.
We have motorcycle bars, English Pubs, family restaurants,
tourist spots - you name it. If you think you can host a good
party using the Middle Finger Birthday theme, go for it.
We'll do our best to give you a good listing here. We will
link to your home page, if you have one. We will do
everything we reasonably can to enhance your image, your
menu and your good will in your community and the world community.
A listing here will drive traffic to your door and to our web
site - which is what WE want. The web site, middlefingerparty.com contains NO VULGARITY and will not.
We are doing this to sell advertising, T-shirts, greetings cards
and to desensitize the world to the symbol that people so
often find deeply offensive.
Don't wait till the two free listings in your state are taken.
Contact us now.
Florida and Georgia already have two listings. South Carolina
has one. One is still available there. In the next few weeks,
a trip is planned across southern Alabama, Mississippi and
Louisiana. We hope to find places there to host parties by
invitation. If you contact us first... those spots will be yours.
** If we personally visit and make this offer and you refuse,
the introductory offer is withdrawn.
Once upon a time, there was a piano tuner by the name of Alvin Oppurknockerty.
Oppurknockerty was tone deaf, a unique quality for a piano tuner. He moved from town to
town and in each place where he relocated he would hang out his sign,
"Oppurknockerty, Piano Tuner."
In time he would be hired to tune a piano. When he finished he would collect his fee
and return to his shop. Soon, the customer would call and say something like this. "Alvin!
Alvin! My piano is in terrible tune. You must come back and re-tune my piano."
Where-upon, Oppurknockerty would reply, "Sorry. Oppurknockerty only tunes once."
bob@middlefingerparty.com